I remember the hospital bed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the smell of Death all around. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How you begged them to let you go \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
that you wanted to leave into the dark. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You fought Death for so long. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tried so hard to beat it\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Up in heaven, they spat on that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They just asked you to forgive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember your arms around me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember your smile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How you’d buy me a toy <\/p>\n\n\n\n
and say \u00aboogoo-goo\u00bb.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You taught me to believe <\/p>\n\n\n\n
that the world is full of kindness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That children and carousels can be the same height. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That if you have to fight \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
fight like it’s your last day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That being with girls <\/p>\n\n\n\n
is almost ecstasy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That cigarettes are bad \u2014 and vodka is not water. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That sooner or later, trouble comes to every family. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That you have to learn to live \u2014 and be strong in the morning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That if you’re brave enough \u2014 you can reach the moon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’m writing. Breathing. Tears welling up\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dad. I’m sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I brought your grandson to you \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
you saw a sunrise in your life again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What a shame \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
you never got to look into your granddaughter’s eyes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You pushed him in the stroller. Let him do anything. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
He grew up. A decent Man. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Just as smart as you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was just a boy\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Some big asshole hurt me in the hospital. It hurt so much\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You stood up for me. Showed everyone there how to defend your son. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
You are my example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Remember the \u00abMontana\u00bb watch you gave me? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I jumped around the house with joy \u2014 and kept it like a treasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes, when trouble comes crashing into my life \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
suddenly, like when I was a child \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I miss you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I want to ask your advice: \u00abDad, what do You think?\u00bb <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Give me answers\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or maybe I should buy flowers\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or maybe\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What if\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what about\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What if suddenly\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there is no answer from You!!!!!! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I just sit quietly in my grief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How I wish that one day \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
suddenly \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
the door would open \u2014 <\/p>\n\n\n\n
and I would hear that important voice: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00abSON! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
YOUR FATHER IS HERE! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
BELIEVE IT!\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n
March 13, 2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I remember the hospital bed. And the smell of Death all around. How you begged them to let you go \u2014 that you wanted to leave into the dark. You fought Death for so long. Tried so hard to beat it\u2026 But\u2026 Up in heaven, they spat on that. They just asked you to forgive. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-420","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"blocksy_meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=420"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":421,"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/420\/revisions\/421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daviddolganov.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}